I have a venting problem.
Recently, I was in a situation where I felt “wronged.” I spent a few days fuming, venting to my close friends, my family, my husband—nearly every ear I had available to me. Lava from a volcano, anger spewed from me. But, afterward, I didn’t feel better. I just felt exhausted. I was tired of my self-righteousness, of my irritability, and most of all, tired of feeling like I had let God down by spreading all that anger to those I love most.
I took some time in quiet to reflect on the situation and my options. Spent and feeling pulled toward God, I asked Him, “Please help me handle this with more love.” And I was instantly reminded of a quote I heard in a podcast conversation between Dr. Maya Angelou and Oprah:
In the conversation, Dr. Angelou describes it as a prayer she keeps close to her to remind her of the basic rule of life: God is all that matters. My number one goal should be to never let God down. Someone once put it this way:
It doesn’t matter what other people think or even what I think. The only thing that matters is what God thinks, and that’s what I should use as my guide. The good news is that, when I do that, when I put God and love first, everything else falls into place quite beautifully.
So, after my venting hangover subsided, I decided to shut my mouth and solve the problem from the inside out. When judgmental thoughts arose in my mind, I tried hard to consider them with compassion. And, secondly, I walked forward in the path I felt was God's will, despite letting other people down. I spoke my truth, as kindly as I could, and felt bolstered by the fact that God had my back. Because he always does, doesn't he? His shield—the shield of faith—is impenetrable, indestructible, eternal.